


They don't love you, but I do

by desertrain



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-07 15:21:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19087738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desertrain/pseuds/desertrain
Summary: As Jon makes his way through the throne room Tyrion’s words poke and prod his mind. But instead of killing Daenerys they mount Drogon and leave Kingslanding. The ones left in the city react mostly the same way.





	1. Chapter 1

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Grey Worm managed to catch a glimpse of the queen’s hair when they flew out of the Red Keep. “I don’t know if she left because she wanted to, or if Jon Snow took her.”  
  
He is speaking to the leaders of this country he knows very little about. Of the people who took Missandei from him and the Queen.  
  
Tyrion shakes his head, that fool in love. With the fear of her coming back he speaks up, his chains ringing as he moves, “We _must_ unite this kingdom before she comes back.”  
  
Grey Worm is about to shut him up when Yara Greyjoy scoffs, “We need to hunt them down, I’ll get my ships ready.”  
  
“And who are you to do that?”, Arya Stark remarks coldly.  
  
“I serve the true Queen-”  
  
“Your Queen leveled a city.”, The Queen of North quips.  
  
“My queen did what any woman in power would have.”, Sansa scoffs but Yara does not stop, “Maybe you have been lucky, Queen of the North but when a woman has to wrangle men into battle she can't show mercy. They will not follow you unless you let go of any compassion you ever had, and even then some cunt will still try to undermine you. Women in power can only rely on fear to get shit done.”  
  
“She’s a killer!”, Arya nearly growls standing, “And If you think you’re going to kill my brother-”  
  
“And you’re a killer, I’m a killer, The dead queen under the rubble of the red keep was a killer. She killed everyone in the sept with wildfire but _my_ queen is the Mad Queen.” Yara laughs bitterly.  
  
The women are nearly ready to fight when Tyrion interrupts, “Yara is right, we are all killers. But I think we can all agree that the fighting has to stop. The killing has to stop. We’re vulnerable and there are people in need of shelter, food, we have to put away these differences and think about them.”  
  
When everyone settles down they end up voting for their next ruler. With the fear of unsuitable offspring, they decide to rid the kingdoms of lineages. Their king is Bran the Broken, Tyrion becomes a hand, but they take half of Queen Daenerys’ sympathizers into the council to keep the peace.  
  
The Dothraki decide to head back to the grass sea, the unsullied will help them get back. Greyworm plans to sail for Narth after that, when they arrive there they plan to create a party to search for their Queen.  
  
They will find her. And they _will_ break the wheel.  
  
  
  
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When they land it’s in the flatlands around Pentos, Jon is agitated by the heat, and she’s no better, having left winter behind. Without speaking they strip their coats off and lay on them, Drogon’s shadow protecting them from the sun. They pant up at the bright blue sky, they had been flying for weeks, only stopping to collect food in tiny islands and to sleep. Jon thought of flying to Dragonstone but that would have been the first place they’d search. He played with the idea of hiding behind the wall, but she has more supporters here, and the trip here significantly shorter.

 

After a while, Daenerys sits up and she is livid, “You drag me here and have said nothing since we left! I don’t even know why Drogon has been listening to you.” The way her words come out lash at his skin.

 

“You were in danger, Dany! You were not in your right mind and they would have killed you.” He yells back, “Drogon could sense that you were in danger, that the people there did not love you.”

 

”You think I don’t know that!”, She slumps back down to the floor.

 

“We love you.”, he says after a while. “..They wanted me to kill you and I could never.”

 

“Who wanted that?”, she fumes.

 

“Everyone you _didn’t_ kill, Dany.”, he sighs.

 

She makes an exasperated scream and covers her eyes, turning away from him in a fetal position. Jon watches as her shoulders shake as she sobs, “I’m a monster.”

 

He's flooded with emotions, but mostly he's relieved, the woman he loves is still there, she had just been buried underneath the pressure of being a queen. He rubs her arm and hugs her, “You’re _not_ a monster. You’re human and humans make mistakes.”

 

“Not as big as this, Jon!”, she cries, still hiding behind her hands.

 

“Aye, not like this. I am not going to justify what you did back there but I also won’t leave you alone”, she finally looks at him after a quiet moment and his heart breaks. She so vulnerable right now, “ I will take care of you.”

 

She breaks into another sob, but this time she buries her face in his chest. “Thank you, Jon. Thank you.”, he is all she has left in this world. Him and Drogon of course. He kisses her forehead and lets her cry herself out.

 

Because of how quickly the events of the past few months happened as they did, even he has to cry. But he can't, he has to be strong for her. They’ve lost so much and now as fugitives, they only have each other to rely on. Those they left behind might send for their heads, or with any mercy, they'd take them as prisoners. A safe place to stay and food, that is what is urgent. In a land he’s never set foot in he has to think of what they do have. They have Drogon. They’re safer than most would be in this kind of situation, but they’re also a bigger target.

  
“You have to help me out, alright? We need somewhere to stay, preferably somewhere I can hunt down some food for us. Do you know where we can go?”

  
“Well there’s nothing here but fields of grass, “, her breath comes out as a shudder, she’s back in Essos, back where she started, “We won’t find easy shelter here we must fly somewhere else. Maybe we can head to Meereen..”  
  
Jon nods, they have no real supplies, they need trees to make tents and fires. He looks up and it’s still early enough to fly somewhere before it gets dark. The days here are long.  
  
“I’d rather live off the land..”, she frowns looking off into the field, “Who knows how far the news has traveled at this point.”  
  
He’d rather do that but without anything to work with here, they’d just have to hunt whatever they find and lay in plain sight with a fucking dragon. “I agree but we really need supplies..What if I go to Pentos, you are very recognizable, I can gather supplies-”  
  
“You said you would not leave me.”, she says quietly, “..I don’t know how I’ll react, and we’re so close to Kingslanding..”, she shudders at her own fears.  
  
His hold on her tightens just a little and places another kiss on her forehead, “You’re right. This leaves us with one choice, we got west again and set up a camp by the sea. But we can’t stay there for long, Kingslanding is right across from us and we have to keep moving.”  
  
“Are we going to run away forever?”, her fingers grip onto his sleeves, “It’s what I deserve, but not you Jon.”  
  
He cups her face and kisses her, “Shh, we’re going to get through this. This is just the plan while we’re still close to Westeros. We’ll try to get to Meereen, it seems to be our safest option. We're in this together.”  
  
She nods, “Maybe we can stop by Narth.”, a distant memory of how fondly her friend once spoke of her home made her angry, they took her away. They took her dragon away.   
  
Jon senses her mood change and stands, “Come now, we should move before the sun gets any lower.”  
  
  
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When his feet sink into the soaked sand he remembers when they first arrived in Dragonstone. The dark choppy sea, the way the castle loomed over the sea. Simpler times.  
  
It’s not until they run into a pile of ash does he realize that people camped here recently. They had stopped here to rest and let the Dothraki make their way from here.  
  
He inspects the rest of what was left of the camp and find a larger pile of ash, a familiar sight. “The Queen.”, one of Greyworm’s men speaks.  
  
He nods, “Let’s get some men to search around here, maybe they’re still here. If anyone catches sight of Drogon report back and we’ll follow him back to her.”  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Daenerys' state of mind. Important to see how she views this situation that they find themselves in. And how she sees Jon.

_He was squinting groggily at their campfire, making sure it didn’t go out while she slept. That's when Drogon’s growl alerted him to the coming ships._  
  
_He moved so quickly that it startled Daenerys out of her slumber. It was the smallest sign of ships. They were lucky to have caught sight of them. He rushed back under their makeshift tent and started taking it down, “We have to go.”_  
  
Jon’s skin hurts as the air whips at his sunburnt skin. The sun is not kind on this side of the world. They’re flying over the clouds for cover, as long as they land before the rain starts they will be fine. The beach had been their home for four days, they managed to get comfortable by the early morning of that third day. They tried their hardest to not let their guard down.  
  
He feels Daenery’s grip on him become loose and turns to see she’s fallen asleep. He adjusts them to make sure she does not fall. She had not been sleeping well, nightmares have been plaguing her. And with the small portions of food, they’ve had no real energy to do anything.  
  
He has to get them somewhere, preferably a high place to catch anyone coming before they can be reached. But this somewhere also needs fresh water, trees, and animals to hunt. Fruit would be great.  
  
He needs somewhere to get her in the right state of mind, he can’t do this alone. He almost regrets not flying her behind the wall. But it’s too late for that, they’re too far south to think of going north now.  
  
If the plan is Meereen they have to head east or south. From the position of the sun, Drogon is heading east. No Narth, then. Out of all places in the East, Daenerys said that it could have been the safest. They also considered the Dothraki Sea to the east, with all the bloodriders left in Westeros it would be mostly empty, from there they planned to head down to Meereen.  
  
After a few hours of flying they become surrounded in clouds. They can’t see anything and now they’re wet because of it. Daenerys jolts awake when Drogon begins to descend to see where they’re going.  
  
“I’m sorry I fell asleep.”, slender arms wrap around him tightly again.  
  
Her hair is dripping wet, she tries to shake it dry when they finally pass all the clouds, “It’s alright, we’re heading east, I tried to make him go south but he refused.”  
  
She smiles, “He might know more than we do. It would have been dangerous to go south anyway. We would have had to go through the disputed lands, spend only a night there if we were lucky.”  
  
From the stories, she’s told him of Essos, especially the nearby cities, he can see why her life lead her to that day in Kingslanding. War, slavery, and gold run this land. It’s not to say that Westeros is any better, but these things don’t run their way of life the same way. It’s no wonder.  
  
Drogon seems to find a good spot to land and descends toward some hills. “Do you know where we could be?”  
  
She looks over as they begin to land and nods, “The Velvet hills.”. She sighs, it hurts to dismount after hours of tense riding, she accepts his help. She feels numb mentally, they’re slowly following the same path she took so long ago with the Dothraki. Next would be Norvos.  
  
Jon inspects the land. He’s a lot thinner, who knows how ghastly she must look right now. They’re still wet from the grey clouds that still hover above them. The breeze that passes by has her huddle close to Jon for warmth.  
  
She expects the kiss on her forehead before he even touches her skin. He’s been treating her like a fragile doll. She wishes the dreams would stop, she could be more helpful if she was not in constant fear of falling back to that old mindset. The one that kept her moving forward on this side of the world.  
  
“What do we think?”, she asks. The land is just as she remembered, but when she passed through here the Dothraki never stopped. Ghoyan Drohe is just bellow, her brother had told her how Valyrian dragons destroyed the city, he told the story with such fervor. Jorah followed by mentioning that it was once pretty land, green with flowers, with canals and fountains. Now it’s just muddy, abandoned and being retaken by nature. The overcast day makes it look ominous. This is what fire and blood leave behind, that is what it always does.  
  
“Did you hear me?”, Jon frowns, when she doesn't answer he gives her a patient smile, “I said there are some abandoned buildings we can stay in, that water down there doesn't look right but if we can find something to hold water we can drink the rainwater if we boil it.”  
  
She can only nod and quickly look away as his brow furrows. He’s going to have a talk with her later tonight, she’s sure of it. “Let’s see what we can find.”, she begins the trek down the hill toward Ghoyan Drohe.  
  
He feels his eyes on her the whole time. But when they reach the ruined city they find it’s overflowing with weeds and trees that are taking over what’s left of the stone buildings. The water is definitely not for drinking, it's green and smells. Bugs flying over any body of it. They’ll have to rely on rainwater.  
  
“How about you find the best place to stay, I’m going to take a look around to find supplies, that alright?”  
  
“Yes.”, his eyes are sad and she tries to conjure up a smile for him but it seems to make him sadder. She has to think about why he was so ready to risk it all for her. He could have killed her and the world would finally be rid of her.  
  
She knows the answer though. And if she was in his position there is nothing she would have done differently. After their talk later tonight she’ll have to finally thank him.  
  
The fountains in the center of the city are beautiful, carved so delicately, an expert hand made these. She wants to admire them more but has to tear herself away. She should be helping.  
  
Most of the city is caved in on itself. Only a handful of the buildings are left with roofs.  
  
One small building across the fountain, in particular, has survived for the most part. The roof is mostly in one piece. This square of space must have been where the people traded for food and wares.  
  
She walks in and it’s just as bad inside than the outside. This must have been a bakery once, there are shredded aprons that time has not been kind to, a counter and a giant oven behind it.  
  
Jon’s footsteps startle her, “Sorry, I think this one's the best I’ve seen. And they have an oven. Drogon can even poke in on us from that corner.”, he points to the hole in the roof. He always manages to make her smile, weather she wants to or not.  
  
“What did you find?”, he sets down a bent bucket, a tattered wool blanket, and a relatively new leather bag on the counter  
  
“We’re pretty lucky... No, go ahead and laugh.”, he smiles catching her amusement at his choice of words, “We _are_ lucky, those who passed by have accidentally left things behind.”, he pulls her near to place that same kiss on her forehead. “We left our coats up on the hill, I’ll go grab them and some wood while I’m out there.”, he slings the leather bag over his shoulder and hands her a dagger from his belt, “Have another look around, maybe you’ll find some fruit with all these trees.”  
  
She agrees and follows him out of the bakery, watching him for a while before heading the opposite direction. The farther out she goes the more trees she finds, if given the chance this can turn into a forest.  
  
She finds that none of the trees bear fruit. So she decides to enter the other buildings she missed. On the last one she chooses to inspect she finds some clothes, Jon was right when he said there were some new things in this city lost to time. A white dress, men’s shirt, and a dark blue scarf. She dusts off her finds and decides to put on the scarf, if they do head to Norvos she’ll need something to hide her hair. She throws the other items over her arm to take back. When she’s ready to return to the bakery she hears rustling behind some foliage.  
  
She immediately hides behind the nearest pillar. Her heart fast and her hands shaking but she risks a glance, yet no enemy meets her eyes, just a small mare. When a minute passes with no other noise she comes out of her hiding place. “Hello,” she says as gently as she can. Setting down the found clothes by the pillar.  
  
The horse is careful as it approaches her. She steps just as careful as to not scare it off. All the potential this horse can have for them makes her nervous to only see it run off.    
  
They’re nearly touching when she hears a snapping of a twig behind the mare. Luckily Daenerys did not run away because the sound came from another horse, an older one. It’s mother she guesses.  
  
Unfortunately, Drogon passes overhead at this moment, his shadow covering them giving her only has a second to react. The mother horse runs off and Jon's dagger pierces the young mare’s neck before it too can run away. Blood helping soak her clothes again. Daenerys trembles as she leads the dead horse down to the floor. Tears flooding her eyes.  
  
She’s in plain sight so when she hears Jon’s distant calls of her name it does not surprise. He’s on his knees cradling her face up to his to inspect. “Are you alright...Dany, Dany answer me!”. He looks at her blood covered dress and hands with fear.  
  
It begins to rain then, the blood washing away like it never came out of the poor thing. She can barely hear him but she tries to answer anyway, “I’m fine. I’m fine.”  
  
His shoulders slump in relief and her hugs tightly then, taking in the sight of the dead horse. “I would have done the same, you did what you had to.”  
  
He lets her go and takes another look at her, his eyes are sad again, “Oh, love.”, he doesn’t know what to say. Her tears meet the rain as she looks up at him. He takes the dagger back from her and puts it back where it belongs before trying o get her back up, “You’re getting all wet, come on let’s go back. You can stand?”, she tries looking down at the horse again but he stops her, “Dany?”  
  
Her lip quivers but she nods, “Oh, the..the clothes.”, she distracts herself by collecting the discarded shirt and dress she left by the pillar. He lets her pick them up and offers his hand to lead her back to the bakery.  
  
Once there he wraps her up in his coat, “I’ll be back, you stay here by the fire.”, that’s when she noticed the oven’s flames dancing next to her, “You stay here.”  
  
It’s a while before he comes back, she immediately shuts her eyes at the sight of the little horse in pieces that he has to place on the counter. This is what she thought would happen to the horse if she managed to bring it back. But killing it in the presence of its mother is what really upset her.  
  
He’s quiet as he moves around, and then she hears him leave and come back, back to where she is, “You can open your eyes now.”, he’s completely wet, his long hair stuck to his face, he takes his jerkin and undershirt off and they plop on the floor with a splash. He then tells her that he has to take her clothes off, she lets him and then she’s cold. He throws on the shirt she found him and gets her new dress on for her. Luckily she's on the floor and can't see the meat on the counter.  
  
She wants him to hold her but he’s gone again to hang their clothes to dry and set out their bucket to collect water.  
  
The sound of the rain is louder and she feels like she’s drowning.  
  
She shakes the awful feeling and turns her attention on setting up their makeshift bed. She needs something to do.  
  
She squishes all the materials they have and decide the laying on Jon’s coat will be best. The wool blanket is itchy but will have to do.  
  
He brings the bucket over to the oven and lets the flames lick at it for the water to boil. He must have also brought a piece of the horse as well, she can smell it.  
  
They’ve settled down for the night just in time, the thunder and lightning have started. She wonders where Drogon has flown off to and if he’s safe.  
  
When he finally speaks it startles her, “Let the water cool off.”, he carefully sets down the bucket at her feet. While he’s within her each she brushes her fingers through his beard as carefully as she can, it’s tangled and full, “You need a trim.”  
  
“Do I look as awful as I think I do?”, he tries to tame his beard but it just bounces back up making her smile.  
  
“You always look handsome to me.”, she risks a kiss on his lips and he returns it readily, “I think the meat is burning.” at her words he shoots up.  
  
Her fingers tap at the bucket, she can still see some stray bubbles, she takes a sip from the overflowing bucket and sighs. Her dry throat and lips approve.  
  
Once the meat is cooked he sits down with her on their little bed. “If you want more I can cook some more.”  
  
She shakes her head, just agreeing to eat this makes her stomach churn. “I’ll be fine... We should find some salt so the rest won’t go bad.”  
  
He nods, “I found some here, I’ll get to it after we’re done.”  
  
She feels guilty when she’s full, her body humming after her first good meal in weeks. They each have half of the water before it has to be refilled again and boiled. They take advantage of the rain and drink their fill.  
  
Once the meat is salted, the plans for the next day are made, they decide to deal with their out of control hair. A chair is pulled out and Jon is first.  
  
“You sure you don’t want to do this yourself?”, she parts his hair evenly to make sure it comes out so, “I don’t want to ruin your hair.”  
  
He scoffs, “You’re going to be the one to see me every day.”, she wacks his shoulder weakly and he chuckles, “I trust you.”, he offers her the same dagger from earlier.  
  
“Fine.”, she takes her time, his soft curly hair bounces back making her regret some cuts so she doesn't cut much. As long as he can tie it back he’ll be fine. “You can do your beard, I’m scared to go there.”  
  
“That bad?”, she smiles tugging at his beard playfully, “You want me to do yours? I’ll try my best.”  
  
Her smile drops, “Yes, I guess I should.”, she pulls her singular braid forward and smiles sadly down at it, “Dothraki Kahls braid their hair after winning in battle, they never cut it. Only when they are defeated do they show the world that shame..”  
  
Jon draws her closer by her hips, “Hair grows back. Life goes on and we learn from our mistakes. Cut your hair if you want. Cut it if you’re simply just sweating in this heat.”  
  
She sighs, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. And lays her forehead against his, “It is fucking hot.”,she joins in as he laughs.  
  
She hands him back his dagger and turns around. The cut is quick, her head has one less weight on it, she runs her hands through the short strands. Jon dusts her shoulders off of any stay hairs and places a few kisses there instead, “Better?”  
  
She turns and her new hair tickles her skin, “Much better.”, before she forgets she crawls onto his lap and mumbles against his neck, "Thank you, for everything."  
  
He shushes her, "You would do the same, I love you.", he lays kisses along the side of her face.  
  
"I love you too.", she meets his lips with hers.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m glad to see a positive reaction from this. It’s not a one-shot, that being said I don’t know how long this will take. I’ve added characters that I expect to touch on, if more are brought into the story I’ll be sure to add them in the tags.
> 
> I had a blast looking at the map of and wondering where the hell they could run. And when I thought a place would be safe or a good idea I thought better of it. It really put me in their mindset and gave me loads of ideas. What they’re doing is dangerous and they can’t trust anyone. 
> 
> I would like to add that I'm trying my best here, there's little to be found on The Velvet Hills and Ghoyan Drohe. I have some other places I see them in that I also can't find much on. Then the books and the show are different. Either way I'm rambling now but basically, I want you guys to know I'm trying my best to keep everything believable in this world. 
> 
> Thank you


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend to stay in Ghoyan Drohe for long so that's why this chapter is this length. It took longer for the same reason and I tried adding two more events but It already felt like ramblings so here we are. 
> 
> Your comments give me inspiration and trust me I'm picturing them in all those scenarios. We'll see what ends up happening.

Jon has been waiting for the right moment to speak to her. He’s been trying his best to let her feel comfortable enough to confide in.

Daenerys seems determined to keep her worries to herself. All morning she’s been following close, refusing to tell him what she’s thinking but can’t leave his side.

He doesn’t mind her company, he actually prefers it. But he’s worried how attached she’s grown.

He stops and she bumps into him from behind not expecting him to stop walking. “What is it?”, her voice scared as she peers over his shoulders.

He wants to finally ask her what she’s been feeling but thinks better of it, “Nothing, sorry.”

He’ll just have to talk to her later, over dinner maybe. Speaking of which, they found the mother horse that was scared off the other day. It roams around the broken city. Jon wanted to follow it to see if there were more around that she could lead them to. So far the horse has only grazed, not moving much from where they first found it.

“Maybe it’s scared of me.”, she says so quietly that he probably wouldn't have heard her if she wasn’t hiding behind him still.

“It wouldn’t let us be so close if that was true.”, he reassures her. But who knows if the Mare caught what happened yesterday, animals are smart. They sit on one of the dry fountains and decide to let the horse be. If it moves they’ll follow.

“I should hide, it’s not going to do anything with me around…”, she moves to stand and Jon catches her hand. “What?”

He sighs, she’s like the trembling rabbits he would find in the forests of Winterfell. “We need to talk, Dany.”, her eyes are anxious but she sits back down, “We have to talk about how you’ve been feeling, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

He can tell she’s trying her best not to show any emotion, her lips press together, turning white at the strength it takes. After a minute of composure, she says, “I’m fine.”

“Dany, we both know that’s not true.”, she breaks at his words, “We have to talk about it, you trust me, don’t you?”. She crawls onto his lap, a habit she’s fallen into. He lets her cry into his chest, and when her shoulders stop shaking from her sobs he continues, “You can tell me about what haunts you about that day, you have nightmares every night. You know I know about them, let me bear that burden with you.”

She sits up and takes a deep breath, “That day is not the only one that haunts me, Jon,” she's shaking as she speaks, her body and voice filled with sadness and anger, “I became the very thing I worked my whole life not to be. I never wanted to be my father, I proved to everyone that I was just as mad as he was, as mad as all the Targaryens that came before me. I was fighting fate. So when you ask me to speak about those days, to tell you how I feel. I feel furious. I feel like you should have let them kill me. I don’t deserve to be alive right now.”, her tears are back and they follow so fast that it’s useless for him to wipe them away but he still tries. He wants to interrupt but he lets her continue.

“I am the monster that tore families apart, that didn’t deserve to have friends like Jorah, Missandei, and Geryworm. They all taught me great things and in the end, I could not fight fate. You were the only good thing that happened to me in that damned country, I deserve to lose you too!”, she slaps his hands away, standing and hiding her face, “And now my sweet Drogon is gone and I don’t think he’ll come back, he’s innocent in all of this. His brothers are dead, the only children I’ll ever have and I failed them. I used Drogon to kill all those innocent people. For what? For that ugly chair built on my family’s own murders!”

She turns to what’s left of Ghoyan Drohe, “This is what always happens when Fire and Blood come. We come with power and power comes with madness.”, She wraps her arms around herself protectively, “I don’t want to feel anything. When I close my eyes, when I dream, I hear the bells, the way Drogon sounded and then the screams that came after. I remember the burning rage that had been building up to that moment. All the people who constantly looked at me wondering when I would turn, so they can say they were right about me. All the men who used me. All the times I was advised against something only to be given a loss. And when I acted I was wrong. I was always wrong. It did not matter what I chose, what I did or didn’t do...”

Jon doesn’t know if she’ll let him touch her so he stands in front of her. “You are the woman I fell in love with and I chose to stay with. You are strong and you feel everything so strongly. That day in the capital you were grieving, you were scared. And we just fought in an impossible war. I could have helped,” she shakes her head in disagreement, “I was still dealing with my parentage and I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out that nothing could stop me from loving you. My love for you is what brought us here. No one is just mad, Dany. We all have our moments that we regret,” she shuts her eyes, tears flowing down, “where we lose ourselves. When we’re alone and scared. Fire and blood have been a strength of yours. But you’ve also endured so much. You are strong with or without dragons. If I followed fate I would have killed you in that throne room. We’re not going to let some fucking god we don’t know or worship, rule our fate anymore. Fuck fate, what do you want? Because we’re both finally free to choose.”

Her shoulders drop in defeat, her legs giving in and she’s on her knees. He joins her, “We both have been teased with the promise of freedom.”, her voice is rough, “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

“Yes you do.”, her eyes have fallen to the floor but he tips her head back up to look at him, “I know what I want.”

“I’m scared, Jon...I don’t know if that person I was will come back. I can’t let myself feel...anything.”

“That’s impossible, love. You know what you want. Now tell me, because I’m here and I’m going to make sure you never lose sight of yourself. What do you want most in this world? I want to give it to you.”

She takes a minute, his fingers brushing her hair away to caress her blushed cheeks, “A home that no one can take away. That’s all I’ve ever wanted… A home for you and me.”

Even though they’re speaking of beating a foretold destiny, Jon can’t stop feeling they were meant to be, that they were made for each other, “That’s all I've ever wanted.”

A strangled cry leaves her lips before they kiss. The composure he was trying to keep up fails and his tears join hers.

In the very back of his mind, a thought picks at him. If this is the kind of love that Targaryens shared with each other. The kind of love that his real father broke his vows for. The kind that his parents got to experience before dying. The pure power of it has taken over his very being. It scares him. The deeper they fall the deeper the instinct to fight tooth and nail for her. No one will take her away, no one will hurt her. He'll make sure of this.

The way her arms wrap around him tell him that she feels the same.

He’s not going to forgive what she’s done or try to pretend it never happened. She won’t do that either. But he’s going to make sure they don’t lose this part of Daenerys Targaryen.

They let themselves feel all the emotions they had been holding back on. And in the end, there's a huge sense of relief.

Freedom is new and exciting.

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The next morning they decide to hike around the surrounding area, Drogon is still not back so they don’t have much of a choice. Jon already feels a change between them, she still sticks to him, not straying much. Not everything will change right away, but they look like the will.

Daenerys seems to be in a better mood. Her summer dress fits her a little too big, she’s still very thin but as they found, there turns out to be a few more horses around here. She has to pull her dress flush against her so it won’t get caught in the overgrown grass. It’s hard to walk through so he holds her hand to steadily get through it.

“We should tame two of these, I’m sure Drogon would appreciate it.”, he lifts her to sit on a broken stone wall shaded by a willow, her arms draping over his shoulders as he settles between her legs, they have a nice view of the grazing horses from here, “I’m sure he’s tired of us.”

He feels her chuckle, “Most likely. We can give him a break while we mount horses to the Dothraki sea.”

He’s been reassuring her that Drogon would not just leave them, he must have just gone to eat. It’s been too long since he’s had time to just be off on his own.

“Is it far from here, what does it look like?”, her hands trace lines and shapes on his skin, tipping his head back to rest on her chest.

“It’s not too far if we were to fly. With horses, about a month?”, her fingers run through his hair as she explains the vast Dothraki Sea, “Hundred types of grass grow there, thick and tall, they flow like waves because of the wind. Some rivers pass through but more often you’ll find grass, dirt, wild dogs and horses.”

“Sounds like harsh land…What do they drink with so little water in the land?”

“Mare’s milk. They mostly live off the horses.”

He senses that he should change the subject he turns to face her, “Want to keep walking around?”, Her arms wrap tighter around his neck, “I see, you’re getting lazy on me.”, he picks her up and she smiles. They’re in a better place, he hopes they find a safe place to stay instead of having to go to Meereen. The trip is long and they both can benefit from a simple life, even if it’s temporary.

The sprinkle of rain begins as they maneuver through the grass and then the sky pours down on them when they near their bakery. She screams trying to cover them with her bare arms. Laughing once they’re safely inside, he sets her down on the counter, she got the worst of it.

“You used me as cover, you knew it would rain.”, she jokes squeezing out the water from her short hair. The strands bouncing back in waves when she releases them.

He laughs, “Oh yes, I knew this would happen.”, he pulls his hair free of its tie and runs his fingers through.

“I knew it.”, her smile has an invisible pull on him, his hands move along her thighs to meet her hips. Her legs instinctively wrapping around his hips. That dress definitely doesn’t fit her, the sleeve on her right dropping down on its own. Her chest heaves it falls, she sees his eyes catching the movement. “Are you going to help me take this off or not.”

It’s all she has to say, their lips quick to kiss. He’s hesitant at first but she responds to his every move. Her dress slides off easily, his shirt is next. The counter is harsh so he lays her on their little bed.

His pants come off just as quick and then they are skin to skin. She’s just as soft and warm as she was in Winterfell, on the Boat. He hitches her legs up higher and he enters her. Warm and tight as he slides in and out of her.

Her chest moves against his, her fingers gripping his hair, refusing to let their lips part. His name coming out as pants against his lips, it drives him harder into her. She moans unintelligibly losing her grip on him to pull on the fur that lays under her.

When they peak the rainwater has joined with her sweat. As he kisses down her neck he can taste it. He pulls out of her slowly and they moan at the loss. But he’s not done with her, his hands spread her thighs apart.

“Oh, Jon.”, her fingers are back in his hair at the first swipe of his tongue. Just like he remembered. Her thighs fighting against his arms, her cries of pleasure. He’s missed her.

He nibbles at her thighs to catch his breath before delving in deeper, his tongue entering her slowly, which causes her to squeal.

His arms let her thighs tighten around his head, his hands move on to her stomach where he can feel her shallow breaths. She’s close.

A few swipes of her pearl and she comes undone, her thighs trembling around him, he hums against her making her moan one last time.

Her eyes are hooded as he rises, licking his lips clean of her. “Come.”, she rasps.

Her teeth scrape against his bottom lip sucking it as one of her hands take a hold of him. He twitches in her palm, she hums approvingly. Her tongue enters his mouth with permission.

His turn to grip the black fur as she flips him onto his back. Her hands easily slide down his chest. It’s bloody humid, her body shining in the afternoon glow. She takes a hold of him again but her lips kiss and lick what she can’t reach.

His chest rises and falls quickly as he looks down at her. Her eyes shut very pleasantly when she replaces her hands with her mouth. “Fuck.”, his voice is sore, he groans holding her head as gently as he can while she moves.

She releases him with a ‘pop’ that sinks him further into the fur. Her knees are at his sides one second and then she’s leading him back into her. She’s even slicker than before, she needs his hands to steady her.

She sinks down all the way and she trembles, her head thrown back in pleasure. It takes everything he has to sit up, his arms wrapping around her. He thinks she tries to speak but it only comes out as whimpers. Her fingers scratch as his shoulders, while his hook under her thighs to help her while she’s on top.

It takes her a moment but she finds a rhythm. It’s slow and keeps her steady enough for him to kiss her breasts. Her hands are shaking as they hold him there.

“I am yours”, he says without thinking. But he is hers. It’s the only thing that has ever made sense to him. Her cry of pleasure comes right after his words.

Her quick breaths at his neck stop as she places a kiss there, “And I am yours.”

A quick huff of breath escapes him, he loves her so much. His hands find her hips and she wraps her arms around his neck.

He thrusts into her just a few times before he’s spent as well. He lets them fall back to the floor, kissing any tears that escaped her.

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“Do you still want to go to Meereen?”, he asks over dinner. He’s been thinking of where they can go. They agreed that Meereen would be the safest. But that was when they had Drogon. He hasn’t been seen flying near them, they should have a plan to fall on in case he doesn’t come back.

She finishes her food and dust off her hands, “I don’t know where else we could go. What do you think?”

“I was actually thinking of heading to Braavos. We can find work there, maybe earn some coin to do something with.”

She takes a moment to think, “That does sound good. But if we stay close to Westeros we are at risk of running into spies. There are spies everywhere but especially on this side of Essos.”

He nods, “How about going North.”

“Are you already tired of the heat, northern man?”, his bashful smile gives her a little laugh, “You are!”

“I do prefer a cooler climate, sorry.”

“I understand...I liked it in Dragonstone. I was tired of this heat and it was a welcome change. The rain and the sea.”, her eyes shut recalling the memory, “And I met you there. Yes, very lovely.”

He sneaks a kiss, “I agree. After I left the Night’s Watch I played with the idea of heading south.”

“Ib, the island north of the Dothraki sea is a cold place. But I’ve heard that they don’t let foreigners go beyond their port.”, she plays with a tread that is coming loose off his shirt. “Even Narth with their passive ways is a dangerous land. They live in a place that only they can survive in...”

“This land is strange.”, a place stuck in its ancient ways, “There are so many things we don’t know about this world.”

“It’s terrifying because magic lives here. Especially in the far east, Asshai is the darkest.”, her eyes turn to the flames dancing from the stove. “Shadow binders, dark magic, they are the ones who taught the Valyrians how to tame dragons. With slaves, they sacrificed to practice their magic to keep dragons. All this and Valyria still fell. Like a punishment.”

“No gods, remember?”, he brushes her hair away, her brow furrows.

“A habit born from experience... My dragons came from the shadowlands beyond Asshai. Dragons themselves are magic. This is why magic is so strong on this side of the world. It’s hard not to think of these things when magic is what gave me my dragons, let me come out of fires unharmed, brought you back to life...Only death can pay for life.”

Jon’s brow furrows, her eyes are lost in the fire, he places a hand on her cheek and she comes back to him, “Where should we go? In the north, The Others are gone. There we wouldn’t fear anything.”

She nods, “Yes, I suppose...If I’m honest I don’t really want to head farther east. I feel like we won’t find anything good the farther we go.”

Her eyes land on Longclaw and she runs a finger over the wolf, “Will you teach me to fight?”

This surprises him, “You want to learn?”

She nods, “I want to help if we’re ever in trouble. Hopefully, that time will never come, but I want to be ready.”

He almost wants to say no. If he can make sure she’s somewhere safe it would help him stay alive and only worry about getting back to her. But they both would feel a little better if she knew her way in a fight, “Today?”

She smiles.

Jon decides to just stay near the bakery, the solid ground that’s left in the city will help her while she’s learning. He tried using two small planks of wood as training swords but the wood was too weak.

“Have you ever held a sword?”, he unsheathes the dagger and Longclaw, laying them down at her feet.

She nods, “During the long night I tried to help, Jorah. I hope to not simply try anymore.”

Jon didn’t know this. In her own way, she loved the man. He’s on her list of people she’s failed, from what she’s told him.

He adjusts her stance and then hands her Longclaw. The sword is heavy for her, “You’ll get stronger. We’ll get you a lighter sword as soon as we can.”

He teaches her to move to dodge attacks, pulling her by the hips to avoid the imaginary attacks. “Don’t keep your eye off them. But you should also look after your shoulder, their shoulder too. They can come from anywhere. Make yourself a smaller target”, he helps her lift the sword in a crouched position. Your legs will need to get stronger too, you have the power there and you need the ability to run just in case. And in any situation, a swift kick between the legs will give you some time.”

Block, parry, counter moves and then the sun is setting.

Practicing under the hot overcast sky all afternoon was exhausting. When they’re done the clouds start coming they hurry back inside, but she’s sweaty and wishes to wash off. She starts taking her clothes off and it shocks him.

“You come with me, we’re not seeping like this.”, she sets her dress on the counter and heads into the rain.

Jon feels sticky, this shirt sticking to his skin. He takes his clothes off and thinks for a second of possibly being seen. But shakes it off. Washing off all the dirt and sweat will make them feel better.

Her head is thrown back running through her wavy hair to clean. She catches his eyes and pulls him close. Her hands running through his, gently as she can his tangled locks. Her lips slide against his so easily, just like his hands accidentally slip down from her hips to her backside. She gasps at this and presses closer.

Jon’s dizzy. His hair dripping droplets onto her face. He loves her so much. He used to fear being with a woman, as a bastard it altered his view on sex and having children. Ygritte he loved, but it was such a short love that he hardly had time to think of the future. With Daenerys, in this new life that was given to him, he wants her children, he wants to give her what she’s missed. He knows what she would tell him, and he’ll never bring it up. It would just hurt her feelings. Deep down he doesn’t care if it happens or not. He never really imagined himself as a father anyway. But with her, there are possibilities that he never imagined, things that were once forbidden.

“I love you.”, she whimpers, with that he has to bring her back inside to show her that he feels the same.


End file.
